A Funeral Fit for a Queen
by Paranoia Doll
Summary: The funeral of Cordelia Chase, plus the eulogies from her friends- past and present. BuffyAngel crossover.
1. Scoobies

**_Funeral Fit for a Queen_**

**_by Tru Helsing_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Angel. Joss Whedon is god of all good TV. All hail Joss!_**

It doesn't feel real. I don't think it really hit me, yet. I don't think it will for a while. I mean, I never get too many calls from Angel since the whole 'cookie-dough' conversation. But, I never thought I'd get this call.

Of all people to die...why Cordelia?

I know, I know, me and Cordy never really were friends or even like each other that much...scratch the 'never-were-friends' thing. We were, towards the end. It's not like we were ever the best of friends, but when it came down to it, she was right there with us...helping, researching, and (according to Will) she even dusted a vamp at Graduation. I guess people can surprise you. I remember that talk we had when Marcie(that invisible girl) was after her. I think it was the only time I saw what Angel's team saw in her.

_Cordelia: It's awful to feel that lonely._

_Buffy: Hmm. So you've read something about the feeling?_

_Cordelia: (stops Buffy) Hey! You think I'm never lonely because I'm so_

_cute__ and popular? I can be surrounded by people and be completely alone._

_It's not like any of them really know me. I don't even know if they like_

_me__ half the time. People just want to be in a popular zone. Sometimes_

_when__ I talk, everyone's so busy agreeing with me, they don't hear a word_

_I say._

_Buffy: Well, if you feel so alone, then why do you work so hard at_

_being__ popular?_

_Cordelia: Well, it beats being alone all by yourself._

That moment, among others(Homecoming, for instance) are embedded in my mind no matter what. Now, they just bring tears to my eyes. I never thought I'd mourn Queen C's death, much less shed tears over it. But, sometimes, things change.

It's weird, the gang(Xander, Willow, Giles, Dawn) and I back in LA now. Ya know, I could've sworn I heard Cordy's voice right before I got the call saying, 'Thanks for the memories...'

That was the last thing Cordelia said to me when she left Sunnyhell for LA.

So, to Cordelia Chase, yet another fallen Scooby...

Thanks for the memories.

This doesn't make sense. I mean, c'mon, Xander and I were two of three founding members of the 'We Hate Cordelia' club. Now, that girl we knew, and that woman Angel knew, was gone.

I remember being called into Buffy's living room, having a relatively good day. Xander had just gotten back from India, Giles came to visit from England, Buffy still had a sturdy, non-slaying job, and Dawn was making friends in school. But, when I saw Buffy's face when I entered the living room, my smile faded. She was barely hanging onto the phone and her other hand was on her forehead. I asked her what had happened and she said to wait til the others got there. Once they did, she began. Her voice sounded so far away, like she was elsewhere.

_Buffy: I just got a phone call from Angel. It was about..._

_Willow__: What? Are they okay?_

_Buffy: Yeah...no. I hope they are. But it was about Cordelia._

_Xander: She woke up?_

_Buffy: No. She never did...and never will. She's gone. Cordelia died._

_Xander: No._

_Willow__: ...Oh god._

_Giles: What occurred to have this happen?_

_Buffy: He didn't say._

I didn't believe it. A part of me might never. I knew Cordy as long as I knew Xander. We even met at the same time. She wanted to color at me and Xander's table but went over to Aura's. Maybe, if she had colored with us, she wouldn't have been so mean all through Junior High and High school. But, it's a little late for 'ifs'. Maybe it was better that way.

Buffy told us a few minutes back that she could almost hear Cordy's voice right before she answered the phone. Well, late last night, I was out back just relaxing. And I heard someone say 'It really was better this way.'

Maybe it was, Cordy.

I guess we'll never know.

I can't admit it. I won't. If I say it, then she really will be...and I'll have let her. So, I won't say it. It's hard enough to hear it, to understand it. I don't understand. When Anya...I was quiet a lot. Which, according to Buffy, is like Giles using a computer: Not possible. I loved...still love Anya so much. But Cordy...she was my first love. She was an amazing person, if she let you get to know that side of her. I can actually see why Dead-Boy fell for her. I know she changed a lot since last I saw her...but change is change. You are who you are forever. I mean, for example, look at Will: shy computer geek to lesbian Wicca with a witchy mojo not to be messed with. But, inside her heart of hearts, she's still the ramble-y science whiz from all those years ago. Same goes with Cordelia. Angel said they we don't know her anymore. That she wasn't that rich girl from SD anymore. Well, he's wrong, and right. She had changed, all with her visions and demony-ness, not to mention being possessed by an evil higher power. But underneath it all, she's the ex-May Queen, the girl who bailed on her friends and decided to go out with me. Maybe not one of her best decisions, but I'm not complaining. The girl who said the wrong things at the _right_ times. I know she wasn't as painfully honest as Anya, but, let's just say, the word 'tact' is not in her vocab. In the end...she was Cordy. Heh...the last conversation we had was about a few minute before she left for Los Angeles. I'll never forget it.

_Outside Xander's house- Night_

_Xander::thinking for a moment:: So...you're saying you want to act?_

_Cordelia: What do you think I've been saying? Duh, yes!_

_Xander::stared blankly for a few second before laughing hysterically::_

_Cordelia::crossed her arms indignantly:: Oh? And what do you plan to do with your life and lack-of-skills?_

_Xander::took a breath:: ...I guess I'll find out after my trip._

_Cordelia: I don't think walking to Buffy's house qualifies as a trip._

_Xander: For your information, I'm going cross-country. I'm not stopping til I drive through all 50 states._

_Cordelia: You DO know about Hawaii, right?_

_Xander: What about it?_

_Cordelia: Forget it. (Rolled her eyes and sighed) Other than the horrifying pain, death, and demons, I might actually miss it here._

_Xander: You're joking, right?_

_Cordelia: No, I will...which kinda scares me. Not that I'll miss fighting for my life on a daily basis, but there were some good times here, too._

_Xander: There were good times? Where was I during these good times?_

_Cordelia: You really are one the biggest idiots I know. There was the day a few after Valentines last year. Plus, Prom night... Ya know, for a loser, **and the fact that you cheated on me**, for what it's worth, you weren't THAT bad of a boyfriend._

_Xander: Wow. NOW I feel loved._

_Cordelia::placed her hand on Xander's cheek:: You really should. ::turned and started walking away::_

_Xander::grinned:: Cordy, were we...?_

_Cordelia::turned to him:: I think we were...Zeppo._

_Xander: Me, too...Queen C. _

_Cordelia::turned back and walked off::_

She was right. I always hated saying that about her, 'cause she would always rub it in my face.

Earlier, Buffy told us this weird psychic thing happened where she heard Cordy's voice before she got the call. The same happened to me...only after Buffy told us. I was breaking down on the back porch. I was a complete wreck. But I heard her, I know I did. She told me, 'We were, Zeppo.'

You're right, Cor.

We were.

TBC...

A/N: How the AI team felt about Cordy's death is next. More sadness. :'(


	2. AI Team

**_Chapter 2: The AI Team_**

I've never had a better friend. She was the person I always wanted ta be: strong, witty, caring…a warrior. Don't get me wrong, I love the work I do, all with being the head of a Science department. But, Cordy…she was the strongest of all of us. She's gone through so much, even when she wasn't vision-girl or part demon. I mean, if it weren't for her vision or falling through ta Pylea, I might still be in that dimension. I owe her my life. But, I can never repay her now.

Poor Angel. He was heart-broken…which I've seen him like that before, when that Slayer, Buffy, died. But he loved Cordelia so much, we all did. But not like him. Wesley was a wreck, too. He started ta tell me about some stuff from before they came to LA…a lot of it was sorta funny. She seemed so different. Believe me, I know. I remember last year when we all thought we were teenagers (I don't like ta bring it up a lot.), and she acted like she was better than everyone. Not like the girl we knew. When Angel told us… he didn't seem like Angel. He was just some guy who had just lost his love.

_Wes, Fred, Gunn, Spike, Lorne, and Harmony enter in that order._

_Angel -out of his trance-: Guys. Thanks for coming._

_Spike: Never showed last night, boss-man._

_Fred: What took you guys so long?_

_Wes: Maybe we should wait for Cordelia, first._

_Angel: No._

_Harmony: Isn't she coming?_

_Lorne: Anyone blame her? It was a long night. –Pointed to his neck wound- I'd know._

_Angel: She told me to tell you all…_

_Lorne-sensing Angel's anguish-: Is something wrong, Angelcakes? _

_Angel:…She's gone. Cordy…she died._

_Gunn: What?_

_Wes: But she was fine last night. What happened?_

_Angel: She never woke up._

_Fred: But- I mean, we all saw her, talked to her._

_Gunn: It don't add up._

_Angel: Wes, Fred, locate Buffy and the others. They need to know._

_Fred-seeming far away, nodded-_

_Wes-walked out of the room with Fred-_

I didn't hear the rest of it. Kinda glad I didn't. I was supposed to visit my parents this week, but I postponed it for a few more weeks. There's too much here to deal with. We're calling a whole bunch of people she knew. There's just so much stress goin' around. We visited the hospital to see 'the body'. It just doesn't sound right, calling Cordy just a 'body'.  She seemed peaceful as ever, but it looked like she was smiling. Weird, I know, but it did. It seemed like she was trying to comfort us with a simple reassuring smile, like she used to. It worked kinda, in some morbid way. She was still our Cordy, I guess…

Even after death, you were still there.

  It's not possible. She can't be. After everything… She's not someone who'd just give up like that. I'm not sayin' she'd just give up. That's not a 'Cordy' thing to do. She'd go down scratchin' and clawin', and that's only if she'd go down at all. I've known her for a while. Not as long as Angel or Wes, but that don't mean I don't care about her any less. She was like a sister to me, after I lost mine. She's saved my life, and, where I come from, a former rich girl savin' your ass ain't good for your rep. But, that was a long time ago. I've changed thanks to her. She saved me from my worst enemy: myself. After Fred and Wes left the room when he told us, Angel went on…

_Gunn: How could you just let her die?_

_Angel: I didn't! I would've gone to the ends of the earth for her. But she knew it was her time. So, she said 'You're Welcome' and she was gone._

_Gunn: Why?_

_Angel: If I knew, don't you think all this wouldn't be so hard to say?!_

_Spike: Uh, I don't mean to pry, but-_

_Angel: Then don't!_

_Spike: Well, then, if you want to explain to Buffy and the Scoobies how I'm suddenly here, you can._

_Angel:…We'll deal with that later. Right now, I need to make a call._

Angel left the office after that. Don't know who he called, but it had to have been important.

Cordelia looked so peaceful, almost happy when we went to the hospital. I just wish I could've saved her, just like she saved me. I know how I've been since my brain upgrade. And I know the other don't agree with it, but I didn't care. But when Cordy came back, I remembered the old me, and I started questioning my motives since we came to W&H. I'm not sayin' I don't like the new me, but now it feels like, somewhere down the line, somethin' bad's gonna happen, and someone's gonna wind up hurt or worse…

When we went to her room and I coulda swore I heard her voice telling me she's alright. I think she is. I just wish she could save me from myself one last time.

I just wish you could save me.

She accepted me before anyone else even tried. Of course, back then, I was a stuck up watcher who screamed like a girl, as various people pointed out. But that was the past. Cordelia Chase was my best friend at some point. We lost that until she woke up from her coma. It was like the past year and a half didn't happen and she and I were just as we were back in Angel Investigations. I remember the first time we met.

_Cordelia:  (notices Wesley, smiles) Check out Giles: The Next Generation. What's your deal?__Wesley:  (stammering nervously) Uh, I, uh... Well... (swallows) I'm a...__Faith:  New Watcher.__Cordelia:  Oh.__Wesley:  (turns to Buffy, irritated) Does everybody know about you?__Buffy:  She's a friend.__Cordelia:  Let's not exaggerate. So... (steps closer) You're the new Watcher.__Wesley:  (summons his poise, holds out his hand) Wesley Wyndam-Pryce.__Cordelia:  (takes it) I like a man with two last names. I'm Cordelia.__Wesley:  (smiles) And you teach psychology.__Cordelia:  I take psychology.__Giles:  She's a student.__Wesley immediately drops Cordelia's hand.__Wesley:  Oh, well. I, uh... (Swallows) Yes. (Squares his shoulders) In fact, I am... here to watch... girls. Uh, uh, Buffy and Faith, to be specific.__Cordelia:  (steps closer, smiling brightly) Well, it's about time we got some fresh blood around here.__Wesley:  (laughs nervously) Well. Fresh. Yes.__At the checkout counter Giles stamps the due date into the books.__Giles:  Here we go.__Cordelia:  (to Giles) Thanks. (to Wesley) So, welcome to Sunnydale.__She gives him a bright smile, goes to retrieve her books, and leaves. __Wesley:  (watching her back admiringly) My… She is cheeky, isn't she?_

That's one of the only parts of my life that I don't want to repress.

Apart from the ongoing sniping about my apparent lack of manhood, she, along with Gunn became the reasons I continued on with the good fight after Angel let those lawyers to die. But after this and the conflict Gunn and I had over Fred last year. I'm running out of things to keep fighting for. After she and I researched her vision and the tattoos, she was about, but she turned back for a moment. Her exact words were, 'Wes? Keep holding on for me, okay? Believe me when I say it'll pay off in the end.'

So I'll keep fighting the good fight for her.

I'll hold on for you, Cordy.

It hurts too much to even say. To even think about. But she knew it was her time. That doesn't make the pain go away. I don't know how to find the words to say what she meant to me. All I can say is that I love her and always will. Once she said 'You're welcome', something inside me clicked, like if I hadn't answered the phone, she wouldn't have gone like that. I never expected of all people, Cordelia to go down that quietly instead of with a bang. But what's happened has happened. Turning back time wouldn't even help anymore. It was fate and that's how she wanted it. But that doesn't make me wish any less that she was here with me.

I just wish you were here.

_The phone rings._

_Angel: I don't have to get that._

_Cordy: (takes deep breath) That…you have to get. (Angel walks toward the phone) Oh… and you're welcome._

_Angel: (answers the phone) Hello? Yes, I know. She's…but that's impossible. She's right- (turns and Cordelia's gone)…I'm sorry. Yeah.  Wh- When did she die...? Did she, um…She never did wake up. I see. (hangs up and turns towards the entrance of the empty office)_

_Angel:…Thank you._


End file.
